It's been a rough couple of weeks

As most of you know my bestie, Stacie Maureen Dooley, joined the angels on October 23, 2009. I can't even begin to tell you what a fabulous person she was. She was vibrant and passionate. She was beautiful and hilarious. She was strong and courageous. She was so much more than I could ever put into words. She had such a passion for life that was undeniable. She lived each day to the fullest before she ever knew her final destiny. When she was diagnosed with cancer she was so optimistic and positive and it didn't phase her as much as it would phase most. She took the news with a positive attitude and received grueling radiation and chemotherapy while she stayed in the hospital for 3 months and she was such a trooper. When she went into remission I thought "wow she is amazing, she had cancer, she fought it, she WON it". When it returned I was devastated as were we all, but again I knew she would fight it like she fought it the first time, with a smile on her face. When the doctor gave her the grim news that it was terminal, I honestly didn't believe it. How could such a wonderful person be taken, when she has touched so many people? How can this be how it works? Who makes up the rules? Why oh why Stacie? That was 13 months ago and boy did she put up a good fight. She feels no pain now and is able to look over her boys.

I know it's selfish of me, but I can't help how I feel. I want her back. I miss her. I feel like I lost the most important part of myself. I can't let her go. She was the only person in my life that has ever completely understood me and loved me for me, without judgment. She was truly my soulmate. I don't know how I can go on without her. Everyday is a challenge just to do day to day things. I miss her daily calls and texts. I miss her quirkiness, I miss her smiling voice. I just want to tell her how much she means to me and how much she changed my life.

Thank you so much to all of my wonderful friends who have been so supportive and understanding.

My Bestie, healthcare and a little bitching!

I love my dear Stacie. There is no one in the world like her. She is an amazing mother, friend and fighter. She has been battling this damn cancer for so long. Just when I start to think it is going to start going better it doesn't. I just wish I could take away her pain and she could enjoy her time with her boys. I am helpless, but I do what I can, but it's not enough. I would do anything for her and there is nothing I can do, so frustrating.

Cancer is so destructive that I can't even come up with an adjective that truly depicts the horrific devastation that it brings to peoples lives. There are so many theories on how cancer cells breed and spreads and each case is different. I just wish there was a better understand of this ghastly disease. With better understanding brings better treatment. I know what I'm saying is not a big secret. I am just frustrated and cancer is to blame. Well that and the appalling healthcare system that we have, not only in Nevada but in the US.

Universal Healthcare would definitely help our current uninsured rate, but would it necessarily "fix" the healthcare issue or just make new ones? It really infuriates me that so many large conglomerates are making enormous profits on the healthcare industry. They are dealing with PEOPLE, real people. They are profiting off of other peoples unfortunate state of health. For example, I hate to call out the company my sister works for, but it's a perfect example. HCA Healthcare is listed number 89 of the Fortune 500 companies in 2008, they made a profit of $874,000,000 in 2008. Wow, I don't know if your mouth is hanging open like mine, but that profit is made off of people that are sick or dying.

It is wonderful that we live in such a wealthy, generous country, but it is atrocious that we are in other countries trying to "fix" them, when we are definitely "broken". Hmmm...pot calling the kettle black?? Yes these countries are in need but are we needier than them and we just think we are above them? Or are we truly able to help them, when we are not whole either, should we first use our resources to fix our own faults before attempting to fix others?

Monday

Monday, welcome! You kill me every week. Tuesday is my Monday and every week it sneaks up on me. It is sooooo cold outside and sooooo windy outside, I really wanted to stay curled up in bed, but I made the responsible decision and got up and got bundled up to go to work. Hunter and I got up a little late so I didn't have time to make coffee at home, dang it! So I grab a water and a banana and off we go. Hunter and I have a great time riding to work everyday listening to Mark and Mercedes while we chat about what the day will bring. So I get her off to school and I begin my loooong trek to work, I decide against Starbucks because I am cheap! So I get to work, half asleep and run straight for the coffee pot, I am pleasantly surprised when I see that it has a new filter and coffee and water already in it all ready for the on switch to be flipped on and have the glorious coffee come spilling out of it. So I flip on the on switch, put some cream in my cup and go back to my desk to wait for it to be done. As I open my email I notice that I don't smell the coffee, hmmmm wonder why? I go to the coffee pot to find NOTHING coming out. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Okay so my Monday is cold, windy and coffeeless! Welcome! Hope yours starts out better!

Screw Cancer!

I was just watching the movie “Crazy Sexy Cancer”, why I don’t know I guess because I like to cry. I just wish that there was a rhyme or reason to cancer. It is so random and devastating. No one every say “hey guess what? I have CANCER..Yes, finally”! It’s always a sad day in the neighborhood when someone finds out they have cancer. How does someone get cancer and another doesn’t? Why is it that ‘we’ know what cancer is but we don’t know how to cure it or stop it from occurring? Everyone you talk to has been affected by cancer, if not personally someone close to them. Cancer leaves you thinking why, what did ‘I’ do to deserve this? Was it the water or the preservatives in the food or coffee? What is it that made cancer affect those that it affects? What can help? Yoga? Macrobiotic Diet? Chemotherapy? Radiation? Or a combination of all of these things? Or none of these? Whose to know what worked for one person will work for the next? If only there were some answers to these questions. I just know that I have seen too many people suffer from cancer while I just sit on the sidelines and do nothing about it. A change needs to be made!

My Grandma Ruby, was a wonderful woman, when I was a kid I could always look forward to screaming lobster at her house. She had cancer of the Esophagus. My beautiful Grandma Vivian had colon cancer, she was always so vibrant and full of life even when she wasn't feeling well, she had colon cancer. And of course My Bestie Stacie, who I love dearly and could go on all day about everything I love about her, the one thing that I will say is that she is an amazing person with a love for people and one of the only people that can ALWAYS make me smile!

Fires and Trucks and Hoses oh my!

Today Hudson and I took a tour of Station #28 with the mommy group I belong to. Hudson loved it!

The boys found a way to entertain themselves before we began the tour. They really thought that something super exciting was in there!

The firemen were such great tour guides and so fabulous with the kids. The kids were able to get in the back of the firetruck and try on the fire helmets, talk to dispatch on the radio and sit in the seats.

Hudson also got to DRIVE the firetruck! He loved it. He also got to honk the horn!! Which was LOUD, very LOUD!

Hudson and his friend Caden loved everything about the firehouse! Hudson loved it when the firemen showed him where they keep the tools on the firetruck. He was very excited to see that they had an AXE!
They even posed for our many many photo shoots...haha!

Thanks a bunch Station #28!! Next time we come we will bring baked goods!

Talking, Talking, Talking

Do 3 year olds ever stop talking? Oh my goodness. I understand that he is expanding his vocabulary and the more he talks and the more we talk to him the more he learns, I completely understand that, but wow when I don't have any thoughts of my own because Hudson doesn't stop talking long enough for me to actually think, that's when I just need a little time out.

I think I might lose my mind, I was helping Kris with an application he was putting in for a job that he is really excited about and Hudson wouldn't STOP talking! Oh it's the best when you are typing and you just start typing what they are saying that's the best. I bet MetLife would love the answer to "what do you believe to be your best work qualities" to be "Hunter stole my cereal out of my bowl when I was eating it and I was helping Hawkin eat his cereal because he needed help". I'm sure that would land him the job! I finished proofreading and editing the application without any extras from Hudson, thank goodness. Kris is getting ready for his 2nd interview with a company, so keep your fingers crossed!!

Soup

With all of this fall feeling in the air I wanted to make soup for dinner, since that is a very "fall" dinner. So I made Matzo Ball Soup...yum! Nope not Jewish, but who doesn't love matzo balls?? Everyone! Today, I am at work dreaming about matzo ball soup for lunch, but oops, I forgot to bring some. I hate it when that happens.

Fall

Yay!! Fall is here. I think it may even stay. I love the fall and everything it brings, cool nights and crisp air, Halloween and pumpkin patches, what could be better. Hudson and I baked pumpkin chocolate chip muffins on Monday, yum! It just put me in the mood for fall to begin. I am ready for the summer sun to disappear and be replaced with cloudy skies.

With fall also comes holidays, which I love and hate all at the same time. I love to teach my kids about the holidays and pass on the traditions that my parents started with us, but I also get so sad that my mom isn't here to share the holidays with me and my family. She LOVED every holiday and always made a huge fabulous dinner. I love how festive our house always felt and I hope that I am able to provide that feeling for my kids. The holidays were always about family and I always felt so much love. I just wish that my kids could meet her, she was a wonderful mother and person. Sorry to get off track I just miss her!

Okay, now back to fall. I am enjoying some pumpkin coffee as I type this, yum! Just one more perk of fall.

Oh Printer!

Tell me why my printer doesn't like to print pdf's?? It is the most annoying thing. I have been trying to print court documents at work for at least an hour and I have printed 10 sheets...oh yes 10 sheets. It takes a good 5 minutes per page to print. At this rate I might have it all printed by next week. No wonder I can't get anything done, I have a non printing printer....grrrr.

Oh my wind!!

Wind, wind go away come again some other day!! My goodness, is it windy. Last night all I could hear was the wind it woke me up about a gazillion times, so I am in some serious need of coffee this morning, nothing new really...haha.

Yesterday it was so nice in the morning. Hunter had a soccer game at 8am, oh yes how we love the early morning games. Even though it was early she did awesome. She scored 2 goals....and each time I yelled GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!! No I didn't but that would of been funny. If you have ever watched soccer on the Spanish channel you know what I am talking about. She wore sunglasses the entire game and I think that they must be her lucky glasses and she is going to have to wear them at every game now, that is going to be a little awkward at her 7pm game, but she can't break the good luck streak.

After Hunter's soccer game we all jumped in our cars and headed to breakfast...yes, my favorite part of the weekend. We went to Bagel Cafe, yum!! Lox, bagel and COFFEE, what could be better?

After breakfast we drove half way across the world to Cody's football game in Green Valley, he played awesome and they beat the Spartans, who have been undefeated for 5 YEARS, yes I said 5 YEARS and the Federals trumped them 25-6 and Cody played a couple plays as offensive line (I think) whatever he played he rocked! I am such a proud aunt of my little nephew! The only bad thing about Cody's game was the insane wind. I thought little Hawkin was going to blow away, I was going to tie weights to his ankles, you know like the ones you tie on balloons, but Cindy talked me out of it. It all worked out though we didn't lose him to the wind...thank goodness!

Coffee!

I love coffee! I was so looking forward to getting ready for work, going downstairs and pouring myself a nice cup of iced coffee.

7:45am, I go downstairs get the kids milk and some yogurt. Get my purse and my phone go to the fridge, reach for the coffee I keep in the fridge, GONE - no where to be seen! I turn around baffled and there it is.......empty in the sink! Grrrr....really no iced coffee because someone, drank it all. Who might this someone be you ask? Now that wouldn't be nice of me to say, but let's just say I was at work, Kris was at work and Cindy was at work, the kids where home and not alone....

Okay, fabulous, no coffee for my drive to work. Fine I can handle the 30 mile drive without coffee. I get in my car start it and yup, you guessed it NO RADIO! Really, okay I can make a choice, I can sing the whole way to work or I can talk on the phone or I can turn the car off and go back in the house and hang out with the kids all day or I can suck it up, stop at McDonalds and enjoy a nice caramel iced coffee on my quiet drive to work!

Ahhhh....decisions decisions! So I have decided that today is going to be a good day. Even though there are some not so good things happening today. I am staying positive, this is an opportunity for Kris to move on to bigger and better things and to work for a company that truly values his work ethic and morals!

Back to reality for me! Have a fabulous day!!

A new beginning!

I decided that since my family is entering a new chapter, with Kris' lay off, that I will start the blog I keep saying I'm going to start. So Thursday is Kris' last day working for Pulte. I am trying to remain positive and look at this as an opportunity rather than a set back. Any change is scary especially with the way my job is going these days. We are a strong family, with a great relationship so we should be able to persevere.

I will post some pics of the family when I get home. So stay tuned!